Into the Twilight
For the past two days, my husband and I have been wrestling with some difficult news. His father has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. This is his fifth bout of cancer in as many years. In fact, it took his doctors a bit of sleuthing to find it. My father-in-law's blood chemistry showed no trace evidence of cancer. His body just wasn't going to fight this one.
To operate, he would have to undergo chemo and radiation. He is choosing not to do either. He feels he has had a good 80-year run at life and it's ok for him leave. He knows about hospice.
So, we'll be flying to Pennsylvania within the next few weeks to say goodbye. I have spoken to the man maybe three times in the two years I have been married to his son. He is a fundamentalist christian. He found jesus and feels that all his sins are forgiven. My husband and his father are not on the best of terms; my FIL spent most of my husband's childhood philandering. To say he was not present as a father, is the understatement of the year. And yet, I am overwhelmed with compassion for him and my husband. I am also filled with hope that perhaps they can reach an understanding. I am hoping there will be acknowledgement and perhaps forgiveness.
We have such precious little time here; I wish we didn't waste it by ignoring one another.
posted by Luminous Phenomena at 2:17 PM
2 Comments:
Good to go to your FIL. I'm sure there will be an answer to the difficulties. Humans can forgive in the end. I hope you give your husband and FIL time alone to speak their grieves and anger. Maybe your FIL will have time and other visits will be possible.
I wish you, yous husband and FIL a lot of wishdom
Thank you, Jan, for your kind words. As an update, my FIL did decide to pursue radiation and chemo. The specialist said that he was too frail to undergo surgery, at all.
I believe that this will prolong his life for a little while longer and I hope that he and my husband can achieve some kind of peace.
Post a Comment
<< Home